Escape

Melvin Mountain from the Duffy Lake Road

Compression, expectations, loss, changes

Comparing the past to the present

Seeing and living in, what was, for a few short hours

The weight of decisions and actions like a mountain on my back

Imprisoned by myself

Heading to emptiness

Heading to silence, a lack of conversation, a lack of family, a lack of other human interaction

Heading to...

Mayday!

Divert!

Don't go. Don't stop. Don't think. Don't lose hope.

Keep on the highway

Head for places not seen

Change the moment

Change the feeling

Change the outcome

Drive

Just drive!

Follow your headlights

You know you can sleep on the back seat if you get too tired

Pemberton is only 3 hours away

I come to a place devoid of other humans, intentionally

No one to tell me to slow down

Tunes at the max, melting my eardrums

Stimulus of the car, the road, the deer stumbling through my headlights, the music - drowning out the prison of my mind

I am flying, higher, to the peaks of the mountains

Climbing the fence, heading for the open space, running from what chases me

The peaks begin to glow and light my way

Full moon rising, fresh snow, mountains surround but don't imprison

My eyes are drawn from the road, up, away, to the stars, to freedom

Glaciers glowing as if from a light within

I am there, standing on the peak, a conqueror planting my flag

I stop the car, I can't believe the view in what was total darkness

Step out into the cold

Holding my breath

I can hear my own footsteps echo off the mountain kilometers away

River mumbling down in the valley

A cacaphony of insects and small things surrounding me in total darkness

Calm

Patience

Relax

Holding my breath

The mountain peaks tug at my eyes

Up

To the future

To the possible

Past the frustrations, the regret, the fences, the guarded life

Breathe in

In, in, in

Expand

Breathe more

How can I possibly inhale this much?

The mountains draw me larger, force my lungs to grab at the pure air

Hold it...

Then let the air escape

It takes with it the detritus of life, billowing out into the void of the crisp, empty mountain air

Confusion melts away like the edges of the glaciers

Clarity, purpose, growing in increments, in steps, in leaps, in bounds higher than the peaks

Throw off the shackles with every exhale

Arms outstretched

Eyes to the sharp edges of the peaks

Feet firmly on the ground

I am alone with myself, now not lonely

I am one with the land, the mountains, the snow, the moon, the stars

I am a simple being,

naked and exposed to a world of wonder,

overcome by the grandeur of this unexplainable vision,

provided by a power I will never understand,

with a timing so perfect it hurts

I exist only to pleasure in the silence, the calm, the emptiness of this mountain pass

I am free

Unbound

I escape.

Bernie Macht

April 15, 2022